Wednesday 24 June 2015

THE NEED TO CONVICT.( blog 120)

Straight out I'll tell you that recently I was convicted of several offences under our criminal code here in Canada. However, it's what surrounds the convictions that is concerning. I will also tell you straight out that I have a criminal record and there are indeed concerns about that as well.

I grew up a white male in a welfare area of St. Catharines Ontario Canada that was what could be determined to be the projects. ( yes even Canada has those). Most of the mothers were single and white and had taken boyfriends of the Jamaican workforce that would come to Canada quite illegally, homeless and penniless, they would shack up with the fat white mothers on welfare and day labour as fruit or vegetable pickers.
At night the parties would begin after we were often rushed off to bed without dinner and the Jamaicans would begin to party. Most drank endless cheap wine, smoked pot and crooned to the tunes of Ninja man, beenie man, bob Marley, and several others that still to this day I have a rather particular ear for.
Several of us kids had become friends and would escape our beds and homes , stayed together as after the songs had ended, the pot ran out the violence would start from both sides of the fence, the women and the men. Busied with their antics, they would never know we were gone.

My Dad went to Jail for murder when I was just 9 years old. Often I was targeted especially because of that , including from my hate filled mother who claimed that "you look too much like him) she gave me up to the state and that is where I was raised as a 'ward of the crown' until I turned the age of 16 and then I was put out on the street.



The streets of Canada were rough, yes again even in Canada we have rough areas. It was hard for a 16 year old to look after oneself and crime, joining a gang was the easiest way to survive. I was un naturally a big boy and that was often tested as to my rank in file within my adopted , unruly family. As a result I had to fight a lot, something not uncommon for such an environment that was similar to the LAW OF THE JUNGLE as we called it. I also committed many petty crimes and was often charged for said petty crimes such as to steal clothing, food and for fighting, rather winning against those that would challenge my position within the den of thieves. When I say challenge , I don't mean it like I just went around hurting others for no reason, normally and more than often it was in direct defense from those that preemptively or opportunity attacked me.Having a rep as a good fighter, a boy that grew up in the system and a father doing life, to say the least had its disadvantages and consequences upon my life.
The police often couldn't find me, there was no social media and ways to track as they do now. So finally I was caught , they waited until I turned 18 and I was sentenced to prison for crimes I committed as a youth and the couple serious charges of robbery I had also committed to further a drug habit I had developed in a way to self medicate and turn off the brain of that of my most violent and neglected childhood and the natural death of my infant daughter who died because she stopped breathing ( crib death). That is a definite weight I carried my entire life, the one night I never slept at the base of her crib. I will never forgive myself. I too had this problem but I'd wake gasping for air and I was suspicious she might have inherited her dad's illness. I a credit to my little girl to have saved me when a couple years ago , while in the thick of the mud slinging towards me that I actually attempted suicide, was told I had expired 3 times but they were able to bring me back.I believe she fought for me when I could no longer fight for myself.


I was easily bamboozled by an attorney into pleading guilty as assuredly they wouldn't put such a youngster in jail. WRONG!
I was sentenced to 4 years ,6 months for the robberies and petty crimes committed as a youth. It was practically unheard of as full grown men were getting way less time for way worse things. I had no idea that I had the right to appeal and just set out to accept responsibility for my actions. I was so naive that the first what I thought to be a female inmate was actually a guy with boobs, everyone laughed.
I landed in Millhaven maximum security prison and the first day there I seen a man get murdered during the dinner line. I went to help the man but I felt a sharp poke in my back and a voice say "you look down again fish and be a heat bag you'll be next". Despite the weight training I hated the place, if you weren't looking at the shot gun blast holes all over the walls from the gun towers , you were looking at seemingly puddles of puke everywhere from those on heroin.
I could go much further but its best to stop there.

Despite all these adversities I set out to learn to read, get an education. I underwent intense psychotherapy to cure that of my past and guide me to a positive future. I went on to leave prison and become not only a law abiding citizen but also a productive one that sought out an education and became an engineer, assuming a career in the oil and gas sector of Alberta. Until I was FALSELY ACCUSED I could boast that I had remained a good citizen for over 2 Decades.

The need to convict: I remember as I have said before all those years of endless courtroom dates where they would intentively listen to a person falsely accusing myself of rape and molestation , on little more than her word. My past , even though I have done everything to distance myself from it and assume a family I much wanted. They endlessly persecuted me in the harshest ways, my past although very distance ,to them was the very proof that I was guilty. Although I have done my time, changed and was most certainly never accused or investigated for violence towards a woman in any nature, It was still prevalent in their minds and I was any easy person to attack.

The endless tears my false accuser cried in court dates, would run off the stand, people rubbing her back, hugging her, taking her out for lunches while I stood bound as a prisoner in the prisoner's box unable or allowed to say any thing in my defence. They Finally at trial she broke and confessed. Confessed to perjury that day and other days related to court dates and this matter. Still although Acquitted , I remember all those years of tenderness towards her, violence to myself.
While I awaited trial for that , 3 teams of S.W.A.T and several officers attended my residence, accusing myself of assaulting my then girlfriend and now wife. From the onset My wife said there was no violence that day or any other and in fact wrote out the whole account of that day to her recollection just 8 days after the event.
With no tears and straight forwardness she told the judge I didn't assault her. In fact she fought for nearly 6 months with her own lawyer to have the EPO lifted. Still the judge finds her to be lying on my behalf, sighting that she needs me to pay bills. In the end finds me guilty of assault with a weapon against her based on the testimony of another female officer who also testified that my wife told her immediately   that they needn't be there, there was no assault. But the "gut feeling of the female officer said otherwise"
Lacking any physical evidence, denial from "the victim" zero tears....the judge convicts and calls her a liar. In fact the multiple witnesses for the defence are apparently all liers. Even contrary to the several officers testimonies.
So one one hand you have one who can't stop crying and they believe her. When she confesses they quickly distance themselves from it and the years of torment towards myself. The other,a confident woman, clearly stating from onset, "there was no assault" and she is unbelievable.
One would wonder why the first that started it all and confessed under oath was never charged. One would also wonder why the other found to be lying under oath by a judge was never charged. There is no rhyme , there is no reason. There is only a need to convict.
Finally, I am not "allowed to show you the plea deals" as it could further cause me to be charged. If you knew half the truth, trust me you would be amazed.
The criminal isn't the one you would think by reading this. Rather a misguided and rather abandoned youth that was indeed troublesome but corrected himself. The criminals are the attorney's and judges and bad police that go out of their way to systematically destroy any person who won't toe their line.
More on this later, gotta go to work
'A life interrupted"
Went to work, by myself today so I had ample time to think. I know that there is nothing I can say or do, no one I can convince, no one that will come to my aid. The system will never change but predictably grow worse so silently no one really notices. There will be more after myself and more after them. My blog I think has come to an end as have many other things and issues. Frankly I think I have shared too much, I pity the guy behind me next in line.
I'll end with this, from one of my favorite songwriters and just all around talented men who said it best at his lowest. Listen to the words, they are meant for those who know who they are.
https://youtu.be/SeRDBPWK714
https://youtu.be/5ZYe6gvFikY
TORTURED