Jury selection!. (blog 22)

This is how jury selection works in Canada. At least, it's how it went down for me.

I had never been to trial before, so I asked my lawyer what to expect. She says,
"Typically, they get a list of between 100-150 prospective jury names from a pool and that the night before she would go through the list of names and investigate each through Goggle and facebook, see what they are all about, their political agendas, groups they are involved in and what not. She would then make notes on who to accept, who to strike and who to challenge" I had no other choice but to accept her answer, but on this blog, I would like to convey my thoughts on that.

Just how in the hell do you investigate the profiles of 100-150 people in a single night (unless you're the NSA)? Have any of you ever tried to say look up even your own name on facebook? Sometimes, it comes back with a list of several hundred other people with the same name. How do you know which is the right one? On top of that, many people don't even have a facebook profile picture. Did her list come with pictures of these people? If indeed it is a random jury pool from the telephone book, that would be kind of creepy if they had photos to go with those names...wouldn't it? And of course there are those who don't even have online identities. How long do they take to figure that out?

Anyways my attorney told me she would not actually be there for jury selection. She was too busy, so she would just send a student lawyer instead as this was all just a formality. So the next day I show up for court at 8:00 (the doors open at 8:15). As I approach, I see a crowd by the door so I go and wait to get in with them. Everyone there is groaning that it is chilly, a few people were cursing about having to be on jury detail. A few of us chatted amongst ourselves. I was asked if I too was here for jury selection. I stumbled and kind of said "yeah kinda I guess". I had my suspicions that I was standing next to a possible juror in my case so after that I kept my mouth closed.

CANADIAN COSTITUTION ACT.(blog 21)

We all know that we as people in Canada are supposed to be protected under the CANADIAN CHARTER OF RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS. I would just like to site some of these and write a brief description of what i feel is a violation of my said rights and once again prove that when your ACCUSED of a crime, how those rights go out the door and become nothing but empty meaningless words.
                                      Guarantee Of Rights and Freedoms
Rights and freedoms in Canada
1. The CANADIAN CHARTER OF RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society.

FUNDAMENTAL FREEDOMS
(b) freedom of thought, belief,opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
Okay, so in my case when they didn't want anyone to know what was going on they just simply placed a media ban on my entire case and sealed the court room for testimony unless you were a witness, attorney, sheriff or the accused and finally unless you were there to support the accuser ,you were not allowed in if you were there to support me.

MOBILITY RIGHTS
6.(1) Every citizen of Canada has the right to enter, remain in and leave Canada.
Okay, i was asked if i had a passport and if i did then i needed to surrender it. I was told that i was not allowed to leave house arrest period.
2(a) to move to and take up residence in any province;and
 (b) to pursue the gaining of a livelihood in any province.
okay, i understand what this says but lets see how it played out for myself. I after having received long awaited bail, (even after DNA proved the incident didn't take place) was placed on 24 hour house arrest. I was not allowed to leave my residence period, even to attend church. But i was allowed to leave to go see the bail supervisor once per week because it was too inconvenient for her to come see me. Yet i was not allowed to stop for coffee, purchase smokes or anything else. I was given a hand drawn map and told this was the direct rout of travel i was to take, too and fro as anything less was a violation of my bail conditions. And yes that included stopping to use a rest room or step inside somewhere to warm up during winter months. I was told to layer my clothing to prevent cold, walk not drive and use the bathroom before leaving locations.
In regards to pursuit of livelihood, i was not allowed to work and the brief times i was it would be quickly squashed by another trip to jail for fictitious charges and or to attend court. Even then, the jobs were less then meaningful or gainful and definitely never in reach of a statues of hiring a lawyer who would protect these rights outside of free legal aid.

LEGAL RIGHTS
7. Everyone (it says) has the right to life, liberty and security of the person and the right not to be deprived thereof except in accordance with the principles of fundamental justice.
8. Everyone (it still says) has the right to be secure against unreasonable search and seizure.
Here is where i guess I'm stupid, because i really am perplexed as to the particular wording "in the accordance of FUNDAMENTAL JUSTICE"? Am i to understand that three months after the DNA came out there should have been a different approach to myself? And am i to believe that even after that said DNA came out and i was eventually granted 5'000.00 no cash bail, released that the police who would enter"my approved living quarters" in the wee hours of the morning, harass and yell and scream at me,demand identification ,a verbal run down of the days events, phone numbers while i stood there sometimes in nothing but underwear......OH YEAH,i forgot about the presumption of innocence until proven guilty, forgot that i too am protected "against unreasonable search and seizure.huh?
DETENTION OR IMPRISONMENT
9). Everyone has the right not to be arbitrarily detained or imprisoned.
Well lets see about this one, i think i get it but you tell me. Three months into it the first round of DNA came back clearing me, still i was detained. Roughly 8 months later i was granted 5'000.00 no cash bail by a certain justice on December 21,2011. Yet did i get out? no!. i wasn't released until January 26,2012! a full 36 days after receiving no cash bail, with no holds, no warrants, no reason i shouldn't be out! There was even photos and medical attention taken and given to me but still i guess it is outlandish that i say that i was being tortured inside jail. please refer to Edmonton remand aka capital of hell.
ARREST AND DETENTION
(b) to retain and instruct counsel without delay and to be informed of that right.
Well i guess the judge set that one straight at the Voir Dire hearing held the day before trial started. Among the several breaches sited by himself, this very one was breached by several officers even as they admit that i continued to want to speak with a lawyer and the judged determined that( by the bullshit lies of four police officers) that i was left in cuffs for over an hour and a half, denied a lawyer. While i know that it was much , much longer then that. i and my back injury i had at the time remember every minute.

11. Any person charged with an offence has the right
(b) to be tried within a reasonable time.
it took me nearly 30 months to get an acquittal!, regardless of the signs to them that it didn't rain, the DNA didn't support it, she accused 11 others, her story kept changing....and she delayed trial by nearly 7 months because instead of going to court ,she went out to party!
Now that i had a smoke,calmed down shall we continue.
11 (d) TO BE PRESUMED INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY ACCORDING TO LAW IN A FAIR AND PUBLIC HEARING BY AN INDEPENDENT AND IMPARTIAL TRIBUNAL;
Well we all know how that worked out for me, i needn't say more.
11(e) NOT TO BE DENIED REASONABLE BAIL WITHOUT JUST CAUSE;
Once again we know how that turned out.

TREATMENT OR PUNISHMENT
12. Everyone (it says) has the right to not be subjected to any cruel and unusual treatment or punishment.
Yeah sure bud, gotcha!

EQUALITY BEFORE THE LAW AND EQUAL PROTECTION AND BENEFIT OF LAW WITHOUT DISCRIMINATION AND.......BLAH, BLAH ,BLAH.
Like i said, allot of fancy, expensive words that don't hold meaning if accused of what i was. God help those that see Canada as a country to seek refuge anymore, God help us all.
As you can see there has been a serious violation of several of my guaranteed rights, yet there is more but i wouldn't want to exhaust you. We know there was a breach...so when do we (i and the powers that be) deal with that?
I now have the proof that my rights were violated, please view trial transcripts regarding the "vior dire"hearing and see the judges ruling. The problem hear is that i claim much more and they have yet to be in front of a judge, you see these ruling he made was just pertinent to getting the trial underway, many other issues yet left unresolved. Like i said, no money for a lawyer and cannot prove it unless someone takes it to a judge.

TORTURED

DNA. (20)

When you are accused of a crime such as i have been, this is the way your dealt with and I've supplied information from the Canadian justice web site, from the DNA Data bank Legislation -consultation paper 2002
Criminal code DNA provisions:
The provisions of the  Criminal code that govern the taking of bodily substances for law enforcement purposes have been carefully designed to be respectful of constitutional requirements.

"The DNA profiles derived from bodily substances obtained from a suspect under a criminal code DNA warrant are only to be used in the investigation and prosecution of a designated offence and are not to be included in the national DNA data bank." Let's take a break for a moment so that i can clarify some issues with how they treated myself. First of all, by their own written words and words under oath. The senior investigator says that he "decided to go without a warrant because the suspect is a very large man with a back injury and to continue to leave him in cuffs would be excruciating pain and further give him a chance to tamper with evidence" However that may be possible being cuffed. The reason i never asked this to be fought it in court was because it was this very evidence (DNA) that i knew would clear me, that i was an innocent man, yet my point is that what they did was illegal. And these rules are set out to protect both you and i from this very type of thing under our constitution.
The report goes on to say "this approach is consistent with the constitutionally protected presumption of innocence and permits the use of the DNA information either to exclude the person as a suspect or as evidence against the person by establishing a link between that person and the alleged crime." Ya i guess!, sure proves they followed that as well, another break.
Listen, not only did they not view me as innocent before proven guilty but the broke the law by proceeding without a warrant and I've been told by a very good attorney that any DNA warrants take precedence over even bail hearings and can be obtained via fax in less then 15 minutes! Also the DNA report that i have says that under DNA conclusions, remarks. "1. The DNA typing profile obtained from exhibit 6 (fingernail clipping; area AA) [male 1] will be entered into the  Crime Scene Index of the National DNA Data Bank of Canada. In the event of a DNA match you will be contacted. It is the responsibility of the investigating agency to request the removal of profiles when required by law."
So lets be clear,they aren't supposed to collect it without a warrant, not supposed to put it into the national data bank unless there is a conviction, all this to preserve the right to be treated as innocent before proven guilty.....um mm yeah now i get it!

Further down it goes on to say,
"-The DNA warrant scheme and the DNA data bank scheme have a number of features in common, including:
-a requirement for a peace officer to inform the subject _BEFORE samples are taken under a DNA WARRANT or a DNA data bank order-- of the contents of the warrant or order, the purpose of taking the samples and the investigative procedure that will be employed"
OKAY! break time again!
NEVER DO I REMEMBER BEING ASKED TO SUBMIT AND WHY, IN FACT I REMEMBER SEVERAL POLICE OFFICERS MAN HANDLING ME AND I SAYING THAT I WON"T RESIST< THAT THEY NEEDN'T BE SO ROUGH AS I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE! BUT I DO REMEMBER A WHOLE LOT OF "YOU MAKE ME SICK" and "YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT"
They then dribble on  under Judicial discretion:
Interference with an individuals bodily integrity in order to obtain bodily substances for law enforcement purposes potentially raises several issues under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Most importantly, therefore, under both the DNA warrant and the DNA data bank schemes an independent judicial arbiter determines whether it is appropriate, in the circumstances , to authorised an agent of the state to take samples of bodily substances from the individual for limited law enforcement purposes. In doing so the judge balances the rights of the individual and the law enforcement interests of the state. Judicial discretion is required to ensure the constitutionality of the scheme as a whole"!

Last break everyone . The judge didn't rule on it!, even though i didn't resist, they were mean as hell. Not only did i receive an acquittal, but there was a confession! in between that time the DNA all came back clearing me in the first three months! Yet they not only continue the fiasco but i am still registered on the national data bank! I've nothing to hide but we are supposed to be protected from this sort of things under our constitution. Acquitted yes but they are still running my DNA against other crimes in Canada! And i will end with this. Do you honestly believe that they will remove my DNA as the remarks say the policing agency is supposed to if found innocent?

All i can say is the government is full of expensive bullshit words and cares nothing about our rights,our constitution, innocent until found guilty.........AND COMING SOON TO AN ATTRACTION AROUND YOU< EVERYONE WILL BE CODEX INTO THE NATIONAL DNA DATA BANK!Where as i agree generally, if you have nothing to hide, who cares right? But what people fail to realise is that our DNA holds all our personal information and someone out there even in the government thought it important, private as to be protected under the constitution. More to come.

So the law says that this cannot be done ,yet they did it and here is the proof. So exactly why,how are they able to violate the law?Clearly this person should know of the legislation governing him and yet he initialed it off. When does he get charged?




Tortured.

This is what false allegations does to a man. (19)

I was given an acquittal that came about by way of a confession the first day of trial. I used to do fairly well for myself, drilled for oil and gas for over a decade plus. never once had i had to think about money problems. What the government didn't take, my accuser and her mother did. With the bank account drained,all my possessions i had in the world gone, after all i went through, nearly three years later i get acquitted. I set out to rebuild my life.
How does one do that? Homeless, broke and only a few bags of personal clothing and work clothes my friends managed to salvage. I figure the government will help me out after all who more then them know the full extent of what i went through. But i find that to be exactly the opposite. A certain branch of the government will give me 802.00 per month due to PTSD, yet that isn't enough to rent a place. I have no furniture and an organization will help me furnish a place but not until i actually get one. I cannot go and collect unemployment insurance because i haven't worked for the last few years, nor can i be approved to go replace certain safety tickets required by my employment, so that i can obtain gainful employment.
PTSD doesn't actually fit the bill under certain organizations definition for their program. And on average i hit several organizations seeking help, yet their only function seems to be to point me into the direction of where i can get help, who can help me and then they will redirect me to someone else. I get told " well why don't you sue, for all the wrong that happened to you" I assume that many simply do not listen to me, I'm broke and I've yet to ever meet a lawyer who will champion for me or anyone else with out first substantial retainer and seeing the facts, or knowing if there is any merit to a claim. I inquire how to do that, they say that they want the transcripts. Yet because i am no longer under legal aid (lawyer welfare) they will not pay for the cost of the transcripts. Somehow under all that i have to deal with i am to come up with  $3069.00 for those as well and then a $20,000.00 retainer for a lawyer to sue.....what part of broke and broken does everyone not get?
This is what you get reduced to. where you were once seen and treated as apiece of shit because of what you were accused of. In the end you become viewed and seen as a piece of shit in general, somehow a burden to the system, an ass hole looking for free handouts. And all the while you get these people who act as if they are helping, " well yes accused you do have quite a substantial lawsuit against us, but we will not pay for your lawyer to sue us". " go see these people they can help you" ( and they do the same) or "wow (as they see the paper work) we don't know how to help you"

you go back to your friends house and you nap, fatigued because people just don't get it. Fatigued because once again you had to show all your paper work, be transparent and embarrass the hell out of yourself for absolutely nothing. And as you sleep, you consider how it is you are supposed to open doors with your elbows.....you just can't seem to turn the door knob.

TORTURED

Monopoly. (18)

Everyone remembers monopoly right? We all know how monopoly is not just a board game but a direct reflection of how the western world's society is supposed to be. we each get a name (game piece) we each start off on equal ground (your supply of original monies) we each get a turn and the dice represent a fair by chance opportunity if you will, you roll and fate steps in and then it is supposed to be up to your good business sense, natural wisdom and whether you have it or not will determine your future, will you be poor and lose?, rich and win?. this may not be an adequate interpretation but it is how i see it.
i also see monopoly in my experiences throughout the last near three years with the courts, jails, police, crown prosecutors office. in this though, ( we as men) i do not get to start off on equal ground. i have sat down to be a part of "a game"(as one of my former attorneys liked to call it) that has already begun. the monies have already been distributed, as are all the properties and just in case i might pull off some miraculous move and come out from under the oppressive rent...i get issued one die instead of two. and it is in this format, a lopsided system that you are supposed to defend against. there is no fate, your moves are cold and pre calculated by those who rule and somehow they are able to convince you that in fact you have decided those moves and inherently we believe the  "game " is fair, that it all is by chance and fate
Tortured

Post acquittal. (17)

Following that Tuesday trial where my accuser admitted to lying about being raped while on the stand, they didn't know how to force an acquittal. Even though the judge thought the jury would vote to acquit, he didn't want to take the chance that someone on that jury might still vote guilty (my jury was about half women). If that happened, the judge said;
"that would open up a whole other can of worms. Legally, no matter how strongly he urged them to vote not guilty, he couldn't tell them outright how to vote." The judge decided we would break for the night so he could review the law (because there was no precedence for this), as he wanted to make sure this acquittal was iron clad and couldn't be brought back to court by another crown. Those who supported me through this didn't show up that day because the last time they were not allowed in. They were all forced to sit all day in the lobby. At the St. Albert pre trial, the RCMP approached a friend of mine and asked who he was and who he was there to support: my accuser or myself. When he said "I'm here to support [Tortured]", they gave him a look of disdain and told him he couldn't come in the courtroom.

I walked into the courtroom alone, and I walked out alone. As I was leaving, I believed it was all over. It was such a relief that the truth came out. You would think I would be happy, but actually, I was quite the opposite. I feared being out in public knowing crooked cops were all around. What could I do if someone made further allegations against me? What could I say if they claimed I threatened them or something. Even though I knew I should be pleased, I felt trashed. Even in victory, I felt dammed. So fucked was my state of mind, all I could think of doing was to put on slacker radio and try to block out some of the memories, the thoughts, and the fears.

As I was waiting for the train I pondered just stepping in front of it as it pulled into the station. The thought was rejected as I thought it would just be my luck, I'd break all my bones but survive it. I remember looking all around and wondering how I could feel so all alone amongst so many people. Johnny Cash's last song came on and it eerily described the exact mood I was in at the time.

"I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything"

I have been off drugs since I was 19 years old and never looked back. Likewise, I treated my sobriety as a second chance at virginity - choosing not to throw it away recklessly without giving it mature thought. But that day, I felt like I needed a shot of heroin. While contemplating damn near everything, I realized I got on the wrong train. So I sat and pondered some more as I rode it to who knows where. I looked back at my relationship with my ex girlfriend and my ex-step daughter. I couldn't believe I stuck it out through all that shit to end up like this. I questioned my common sense. I thought about the torture and how I lost everything. Thought about the disgust I had for a crooked system and wanted to yell out;
"SEE!? I TOLD YOU ALL!...but I had no one to talk to.
The only real congratulations I got was from my roommate. His yell over the phone nearly broke my ear drums. He was the only one not to say
"See, I told ya so", or "I knew it". He was just happy for me and for what happened. When it happened in court, my lawyer and I were in a room alone, she asked me how i feel, i thanked her for her help and had attempted to embrace her. She pulled away and told me it was unprofessional, that a hand shake would do. Well, excuse me you cold ass lizard! After all I had been through, despite being as big and as tough a guy as I am, at that moment I just needed a hug. There aren't many times in a guys life when they feel they need that and have the gaul to ask for it. I felt as if she still thought I was guilty. Some women just don't get it. Truth be known, had I had a male lawyer at the time, I still would have tried to embrace him. Same goes for my pastor Trevor, and even my friend Mike. That last one would have been a sight. Imagine 400 lbs Mike and 260 lbs me hugging it out. LOL, half a ton of brotherly love.

-Tortured.

The holidays. (16)

Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you I'm a huge Christmas guy. I go overboard all the way, like Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation. But truth be known, its really all about the kids. The last Christmas I spent as a free man was with my ex-girlfriend and ex-step daughter (my accuser). It had been a particularly tough year. Specifically with my accuser and her unhealthy life choices. her attitude had started to go south, she was doing drugs and what not. I had just gotten my first posting as a rig manager with a new company. A few weeks into that job, as I was preparing my rig for the winter ahead, I get a call about my step kid. Even though she had been given more then enough money from her mother and I, she decided to shop lift the stupidest things. Without authorization by my company, I came home that night to try to do some damage control. I was able to help work it all out for her, but my company found out about how I left and I lost my job. In fact, I was forced to pay $1700.00 so they could pick up and transport the company truck back to where it belonged. I was pretty upset about that. I couldn't have ignored the problem, as my accuser's step father I felt I was responsible and that I should be there. But I'm also a guy who prides himself on his work ethic and dependability. To lose a job like that...boy, it stung me bad. Still does.

A couple days later I had calmed down and decided it was time to lay down some new ground rules. So I went to my step daughter's room to talk to her. I tried to explain to her that because she was now 14, I felt she should start to learn what it meant to be responsible. Her mother and I were no longer going to be giving her free money for gifts. I told her we would only give her an allowance if she did her chores around the house. She would have to earn her money from here on. I also tried to explain that gifts meant more if they were coming from people who worked to earn them. I was hoping this would lead to my step daughter adopting a bit of my work ethic and that she might learn of the joy you get when you give freely, instead of being selfish.

While I was talking to her I had noticed that she had a gift, a rather large one at that, wrapped up for a friend of hers sitting there. I knew she didn't have a job, or done any chores around the house to earn any money. I was also aware that my accuser had a habit of wrapping up expensive things she found around the house and giving them away to people at Christmas time. So I had learned to inspect wrapped gifts in her possession before they left the house. I picked up and unwrapped this gift despite my step daughter's protests. I offered to re-wrap it myself if it was all legit. I unwrap the gift only to find a whole case of boxes of rat poison!

Yup, I said rat poison!

"What the fuck"?! I thought to myself, confused as hell. I asked my accuser;
"Why on heavens green fucking earth would you give your friend a case of rat poison for Christmas?! Where did you even get this? Surely a 14 year old girl like you cannot purchase this on your own!" She tells me that she stole the case of poison from her mother's work. She was giving it to her friend because she "ratted" her out at school for something. I asked her;
"What the hell does rat poison have to do with your friend telling on you at school?" My accuser explains that she was going to tell her friend to eat the poison and die. I couldn't believe this! Giving your friends stolen rat poison on Christmas and telling them they should kill themselves!? No fucking way! Not in my house! Right then and there I cancelled Christmas. In one swoop, I dragged the Christmas tree, decorations and all, into the garage. My ex thought I was out of control, but I stood my ground! That year, Christmas was going to be solely about Jesus. We were going to pray and have a nice dinner, but there would be no gifts! I stuck to my guns, and it really did suck (especially for a guy like me who loves Christmas), but whether you agree with me or not, it simply had to be done. It helped me out that I found a new job and was able to work two months straight after words. Three months after I returned home, and my step daughter would accused me of sexually assaulting her.

So, thinking back to my accuser's words in the courtroom shortly after the pre-trial concluded. The crown prosecutor tried to console my accuser, (who was her usual hysterical and obnoxious self) by telling her to cheer up, because "Christmas was just around the corner" and that she had something to look forward to. My accuser told him;
[Tortured] ruined Christmas for me forever! Fuck Christmas!"
Who really ruined Christmas, you little shit?! It was her fault Christmas 2010 was a bust. Christmas 2011, I was imprisoned for a crime I didn't commit, and Christmas 2012, I had succumbed to the stress from all this bullshit and attempted (and briefly succeeded at) suicide. This Christmas, I hope these crazy people just leave me the hell alone.

I want to conclude this entry with this. They coddled my accuser throughout this ordeal. They used words like "sweetly innocent" when describing her. Sweetly innocent my ass! This kid is nuts! Eleven false allegations! Wrapping stolen rat poison up as gifts! This wasn't even the only incident involving  my accuser and poison I'm very sorry to say. My accuser was once caught trying to slip poison into her science teachers drink. That kid is totally fucked in the head, and requires serious treatment. It isn't just my opinion either. Others who have known her her whole life have come to the same conclusion. My prayers go out to whoever's life she ruins next.

To everybody else, I wish you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Don't obsess over the material shit. That's all junk. Cherish your family and your freedom while you still have them. And try to give back to those less fortunate. This world sure needs a lot more of that.
More to come.

-Tortured

Stress and Distress. (15 of 149)

Its 3:30 am when I awake from yet another nightmare about the "special treatment" I received at Remand Center,incarcerated for being an accused  pedophile rapist.As I awake, this one I can recall. Most of the time, I can't. Like any dream or issue to painful to deal with and you suppress. I'm just told about what I say or do from a roommate or my girlfriend. They will say;
"You were fighting with your pillow, pleading with someone not to put the bag back on your head".
"You were yelling at someone and swinging into the air". What I find disturbing is that more then a few times I've physically acted out or spoken what I'm doing or saying in the dream as I'm asleep and have no recollection of acting out most of the time.
My spouse tells me;
"It was as if you were having a religious conversation or a debate with the unseen." It is a disturbing feeling, equally disturbing that this happens while I'm supposed to be resting. In this particular night I have awoken myself twice and for a brief moment, I am able to recall what happened in this dream before it gets hazy and forgotten, or rather I suppress as I don't want to remember "special treatment" as it would be more than I can handle.
In this dream, I'm running to the door of my house, running head long, shoulder down like a line backer to prevent the door from coming in. I'm spurred on by this overwhelming need to protect my girlfriend, yelling for her to run (even though she was nowhere near me when this happened in real life). I get out of my bed (still asleep) and run head long into the wall! I awake to me punching the wall with rapid secession.
"No one is there, what the hell are you doing" I ask myself. Its just a stupid dream! I crawl back to bed and lay there a while thinking about this foolish act. I think hard and a glimpse of something surfaces in my mind. I quickly suppress it in out of fear of what I may actually remember from the "special treatment".

A long time ago I took a course through work about good and bad stresses. You can think of them as sleep courses meant to teach you the best ways to optimize your time off and get a good quality sleep. So I have learnt the differences between stress and distress. Today, I try to put this knowledge to applicable use. I identify the negative distresses caused by being falsely accused and the positive stress that helps me get over it.
 For instance, going to the gym. That's a good stress. During the blizzard, I shoveled snow. This is also good stress. Sure it's difficult, but there is a reward such as money and physical exercise. These moments offer me a chance to clear my mind.
 My adoptive family's 8 month old twin boys who are teething, often have pain and cry. They are feeling stress, but after a few hugs and a couple fart noises from grandpa, they're able to laugh away their pain. These three singular acts have helped me to realize that some stress is good and it can even have its certain rewards in varying degrees. It brings me hope, a smile, and a brief sense of unity which I used to know very well. I'm briefly reconnected with something that was not and cannot be corrupted by external forces. And then there is the bad stress or distress.

People often ask me."why don't you sue, complain"? First financially, I simply cannot sue. You could hire the best lawyer in town I was once told by an attorney, the government will hire 3". "you will lose and they will never admit fault". "to admit fault, would call the entire justice system into disrepute, people will ask questions and demand answers"
I looked into complaining, I stopped once I found out that I actually have to complain to those that I am complaining about! I thought about it for a moment and figure it would go a little like this:

[Operator]: "911 police, fire and ambulance, how may we direct your distress call"?
[Tortured]: "...ummm, yes. can you please tell me who do I talk to about the police putting me in distress for over 30 months? Can you please tell me why I wasn't allowed to work during? Also, can you please tell me why and/or where all of my personal property items and savings have gone? I know who stole them, can I file a report? If so, can you take it down ma'am because the other four that work with you are proven liars, so i really don't think they have my best interest in heart. And while I  have you on the line, I have a few more questions, if you will be so kind as to oblige me. Ma'am, if a person falsely accuses somebody else, is it not a crime? If a police officer falsifies statements to get a conviction, is that not a crime? Is it not illegal to tamper with evidence by way of destroying, not some but all the evidence before a trial? Is this normal police procedure?
[Operator]: "GET TO THE POINT SIR!"
[Tortured]: "Well ma'am, I'm just not sure who to talk to about being illegally detained and imprisoned against my will. Who handles the complaints from accused men who are assaulted by police officers while under their supervision? Who do I talk to about the police officer who was found less then credible on the stand, threatening to kill me on the day that this started in my own house?"
[Operator]: "YOU DO KNOW THIS IS 911 EMERGENCY DISTRESS DON'T YOU?"
[Tortured]: "Well yes ma'am I do. My distress has gone on for quite some time now, but I've sought out assistance and it would appear that I do not qualify for it with any government branch."
[Operator]: "WELL MAYBE CALL BACK DURING REGULAR OFFICE HOURS AND SOMEONE CAN HELP YOU."
[Tortured]: "I've tried that ma'am, and the hours became days, the days became months and now the months have become years ..sorry ma'am, but I'm a little slow. Can you please explain what regular office hours mean?"
[Operator]: "I'M SORRY SIR, BUT THAT IS SOMETHING THAT YOUR PARENTS SHOULD HAVE TAUGHT YOU. WHAT NEXT, WOULD YOU LIKE US TO PAY YOUR RENT?"
[Tortured]: "Well ma'am, first of all I just want to say that growing up, I was a troubled youth and did come of age as a ward of the crown, so in essence, you were my parents and no ma'am I don't need you to pay my rent, I would just like to know why the police aided somebody in stealing my perfectly good house which I was paying for, and all that was in it."
[Operator]: "YOU KNOW SIR, I'M JUST ABOUT DONE MY SHIFT HERE, I THINK I'VE DONE MY BEST TO BE HELPFUL TO YOU AND QUITE FRANKLY I'M NOT ENJOYING YOUR TONE!
[Tortured]: "Well ma'am, please excuse me if I come across as a tad frustrated, maybe even angry, but ma'am my shift hasn't ended in over 30 months. I have had no days off. No holidays or birthdays. In fact most of the last few years were spent behind bars, including my 40th birthday! I got no cakes or well wishes and no Christmas trees either. On new years I nearly kissed my male roommate at the stroke of 12. I've been through hell and all I want from you is a straight answer as to what "regular business hours" are."
[Operator]: "SIR IF YOU CONTINUE I'M GOING TO SEND A CAR TO YOUR LOCATION!"
[Tortured]: "Ma'am, please! I've had enough of that for a life time. I just have a few final questions."
[Operator]: "UHHH! GO AHEAD SIR, AND WRAP IT UP AS YOU'VE BECOME QUITE A PAIN!"
[Tortured]: "Well ma'am, since I did no crime and went to jail for nothing, was tortured for nothing, lost all I own for nothing, was humiliated near daily for nothing, been beaten for nothing, had my life threatened for nothing, and since I fall under no government branch's definition of someone deserving compensation or assistance with getting answers or help to get back on my feet...can you just tell me where I should go, who I can talk to, and explain when exactly do I become "the victim" in all this?
When my assistance check of $800.00 per month runs out (medical welfare for being shell shocked), how can I pay my expenses? That $800.00 buys my food, my toiletries, and is barely enough to rent a spot on someone's couch for me to sleep on (after they retire for the night). Renting an unfurnished apartment in the worst end of town still starts at $850.00/month, plus damage deposit.
[Operator]: "SIR...!"
[Tortured]: "Well?"
[Operator]: "SIR...!"
[Tortured]: "Are you suggesting that I spend the next three months on the street and try to save that money while it's still coming in?!"
[Operator]: "SIR...!"
[Tortured]: "Because last week it's been, on average, minus 30 degrees with plenty of snow. Most nights it gets colder."
[Operator]: "WELL, SIR THERE IS A MISSION [homeless shelter]!
[Tortured]: "Yeah, there's that, but what about my home which I paid for?! Hey, I got it! How about you stay at the fucking mission and sleep next to the drunks and the drug addicts and I'll stay at your home?"
[Operator]: "SIR, I'VE HAD IT WITH YOUR TONE AND VIOLENT ATTITUDE TOWARDS ME, YOUR THREATENING MANNER APPALLS ME, PLEASE CALL BACK DURING REGULAR BUSINESS HOURS!
-Click-
 Of course this is a fictional call but it very much so describes my situation and in dealing with the powers that be.This is distress! The unhealthy kind! The kind that finds you up at odd hours in the middle of the night, sitting on the edge of the bed, soaked in sweat telling yourself to keep it together. Fight just a little bit harder. Reassuring yourself that every storm eventually runs out of rain. There is a better day on the horizon. Things will get better.

And all that other horse shit!

A video for you of similar stupidity:https://youtu.be/hvvmQuRTFbk

-Tortured

Pre-trial circus. (14 of 149)

Looking back I remember the deep concern they showed towards my accuser. They said such things as;
"In the interest of a young lady, who is at such a sweet and tender innocent age...".
And they would seal the court room and apply a publicity ban so that no one could find out what was going on or speculate on what they thought had gone on so as to "not further HER embarrassment".
They even applied for and won the right to place a screen up in front of my accuser before they would bring me in so that she wouldn't have to look at me while she testified. My lawyers once explained that even though I technically had the right under law to face my accuser the screen prevented me from threatening her with looks.
...So we're just going to ignore my rights then? Welcome to Canada, the land where rights are subject to interpretation.

In serious cases like this one they run a mini trial first where all the charges and evidence is presented and debated and a judge decides if there is enough merit for a full on official trial or not. You might recall from my previous blog entry, "Lazy Lawyers", this trial was actually delayed and I had to spend an additional 3 days in jail because my accuser failed to appear in court. The crown prosecution admits that according to police phone records, (my accuser) made a phone call to the police in which she tried to explain she would not be able to attend court. However, when they transfered her to the correct person, she had already hung up. The crown tried to cover her ass that day by claiming;

"Your honour, apparently there was a miss-communication. The VICTIM [always the victim] had a prior mental health appointment [in regards to what I allegedly did to her] that we were unaware of and could not attend court". The next trial my attorney wasn't prepared to cross examine my accuser (because she was convinced [my accuser] wasn't going to show up), so the judge reschedules the hearing for seven months down the road! Seven more months of me being under house arrest and not able to work. Seven more months of worrying about my future and being treated like a rapist!

Anyways, the pretrial continuation date arrives just before Christmas 2012. This time I didn't have to turn myself in 3 days before which I felt was very nice of them. I just had to drive nearly 400 kilometers and then turn myself over to the RCMP so they could bring me to court. Despite the heavy snow storm where I lived, I did as requested. Once the RCMP turned me over to court sheriffs, the court sheriffs thought it ridiculous that they didn't even put me in a cell. I watched them set up the screen again and watched (my accuser's) mother pose as my accuser to check the view and make sure (my accuser) wouldn't be able to see me. Pre-trial was scheduled to begin at 9:00 am but they made me wait to be last, after they cleared the docket.

Under cross examination, my lawyer asks my accuser to talk about why she didn't show up for court as ordered by the judge. She admits she was partying with friends and getting drunk (she was 17 and therefore underage) and high on drugs. She claims she couldn't call in because nobody at this party had a cell phone. Yet somehow she managed to make a call to her mother to inquire about what time court started. My accuser then admits that she and her drunk and stoned friends were driving around and partying when she was supposed to be in court. So both her and her attorney lied seven months earlier. Throughout this cross examination, my accuser was pulling all sorts of childish antics. She was asking things like;
"Do I have to answer these questions?"
"What if I just leave now, what will happen to me?"
She threw fits of rage, she kept claiming she couldn't remember anything, ...etc. The court room sheriffs were getting visibly annoyed by it. You could see them shake their heads. They would voice to one another in open court;

"Are you serious!?"

"Are they really going to keep letting her go and talk to her mother and get advice on what to say?!"

"Unbelievable!" One even said;

"This is clearly bullshit."

The defense lawyer then inquires about the other 11 serious allegations of physical and sexual abuse and rape which were made by my accuser against other people, (including 2 proven false allegations of physical abuse which my accuser leveled against her then 29 year old boyfriend and his mother nearly a year AFTER the rape allegations she filed against me)! In each and every single case, my accuser either admitted to lying or was caught lying. True to form, under oath, my accuser RE-ACCUSES her ex-boyfriend and his mother again. Despite the fact, that matter had already been closed in court! The judge rules that they are all separate issues, and that the defense is not allowed to discuss them as they have no bearing on my particular case! Eleven instances of false accusations. How could none of this matter? Shouldn't ELEVEN instances indicate a propensity of lying?
My accuser's response to this was she stormed off the stand without permission, kicked open a set of double doors and exited the court room. We could all hear her yell to her mother;
 "They are asking about [name withheld]! They are so fucking fucked! That was five years ago!"
Eventually, they brought her back on the stand and my accuser tells my attorney;
"That was 5 years ago, people! Move on from those kinds of things! Get over it!"

After court was dismissed, my accuser and her mother were ordered to appear when told. I was so busy talking to my lawyer that I failed to notice the sheriffs had left the court room. I was released and free to go, but I was unsure if I first had to check with the sheriffs. So I went and knocked on the security door. Somebody on the other side yelled "Yeah?". I said;

"This is [Tortured], do I have to sign back out or anything?" They responded;

"[Tortured], you've been through enough today, just go home and drive safe." I reported this to my lawyer and she said; 

"Well, I guess you're walking out the front doors." At this time I could hear my accuser yelling and screaming from the lobby. I said, 

"Well, I don't want any further issues, can you escort me out so that no one can say anything else further about me?" which she did. As we left I was shocked about what I seen and heard. My accuser, her mother and the crown attorney were all huddled together along with the victim services worker. [My accuser] was yelling at the crown prosecutor;

"Thanks for wasting my fucking time, you can go fuck yourself! I'm not showing up for trial!" All the while, the crown prosecutor was coddling her, attempting to calm her down by saying; 

"Its okay, just keep doing what we tell you to do, and say what you're saying and how you're doing it. We got this one if you just hold it together. The judge will be sympathetic to us." He also adds; 

"Just relax, go home and just think Christmas is just around the corner. You have something to look forward too." (my accuser) threw back; 

"[Tortured] ruined Christmas for me forever! Fuck Christmas!"

It was then announced that I was trying to leave. The crown prosecutor got in my face and says; 

"Oh no you don't!" I was about ready to tell him to "fuck off!" when my lawyer stepped between us and said;

"He's with me, tell them to vacate now". The crown prosecutor took one look at her and knew she meant business so he turned around and told them, and they got the hell out of there. I returned home and waited for news about when and where I would be required to reappear in court on the day of the official trial.

(You can read about that court debacle in the blog entry "Acquitted".)

Thanks for reading. More to come.

-Tortured.
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Law and Disorder. (13 of 149)

According to +Karen Smith of the Sexual Assault Voices of Edmonton, (a propagandistic organization for the feminist narrative);
"False accusations of rape just don't happen". Truth is they happen all the time, but she has a lot more money than I do, so you can be sure her ludicrous statement will get a hell of a lot more eyeballs than this blog ever will. So I can't help but feel as though me being proven innocent really won't matter in the grand scheme of things. But perhaps these blog entries might help inspire people brighter and more educated than I to devote their lives to effecting positive change. Maybe they can rally people to a worthy cause. People like this have come before, but they passed away with no one to pass along the torch. Some have actually killed themselves because of the frustrations. And of course there have been those who have started out with good intentions but have either lost their way or simply given up.

I highly doubt that I alone will ever be able to affect any change in this corrupt system.  I can see that this is a deeply rooted problem and it will take a very serious societal attitude shift to bring about any change at all. This epidemic of false accusations and wrongful convictions are far too profitable for corrupt public officials and radical gender ideologues. In many cases their very livelihoods depend on these outcomes. Take David Milgaard's example. He was a Canadian man who was also wrongfully convicted for rape and murder and was proved innocent and released 23 years afterwards. Most people already intuit there is a bias in our system against men. Particularly in family law. But David's story did not shock the masses into demanding any reviews leading to reform. How many more cases like David's is it going to take?

Those fat pompous bastards in their robes try to portray a civil and just court but it's nothing but a ruse. They haul out the stack of case files before them, skim a few lines from each and say something like;
"oh my god, I got to do something about this!" Then they make a quick decision. Indictable (serious crimes carrying a heavy sentence, but are generally harder to prove), or summary (lesser charges which, if proven, are proceeded by a slap on the wrist). Whether or not they decide it's indictable or summary depends on whether or not they think they can get a conviction on that one. It goes something like this...
*shuffles paper
"Summary". (...hmm almost the end of the day, wonder what I'll have for dinner)?
*Shuffles paper, skims notes.
"Indictable". (Leftover chicken? Nah, sick of chicken).
*shuffles paper. (Geez look at this one. I should probably review the evidence fir...ah, fuck it! Nick says this guy is a piece of shit. Besides, it'll be years before it goes to trial, Nick will convince him to plead out before then).
"Indictable" (meh, I'll pick up a pizza on the way home).

Callus jerks. To them, we're nothing but numbers. They're completely numb to the fact they hold people's lives in their hands. Some of these accused are actually guilty of course but this is just plain uncivilized. You can't treat human beings like cattle. I might not have done anything very notable or noble in my life, I work a simple job. I'm technically an engineer, (but in all honestly, any guy could be called an engineer if he's a motor hand who has operated a boiler, completed a few flushes, done a rebuild during spring break up, or any preventative maintenance), but I take pride in what I do. On an oil rig, if you aren't paying attention or doing your job right, men can get hurt. Sometimes fatally. You don't want that on your conscience. My point is, I provided an essential service to society and used to assume everybody else who was deemed an expert at their craft was as professional and thorough with their jobs.

HA! What a LARK!

Judges, lawyers,...those who run our courts, deliberate and make and enforce the laws in our country do so at times with appalling reckless abandon. They have no conscience. They operate without a shred of humanity and with very little or no regard for anyone. Their thoughts are about wealth, prestige and power and they routinely violate their oaths to adequately and wholeheartedly represent their clients. Kind of reminds me of that scene from the movie "Gattaca", where Ethan Hawk's character tells Uma Thurman's;
"You've spent so long looking for flaws, that it's become all you can see."
Perhaps these lawyers and judges are so used to seeing guilty people, that they can no longer recognize innocence. A long time ago it seems, getting to the truth and maintaining the integrity of the justice system became subordinate to the quest for quick and easy money. Nevertheless, we ARE supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. These are not mere words, they have a profound meaning. One which, if ignored, will return us to the days before the enlightenment. These uneducated, bored, and careless snakes have made a mockery of that edict and our entire judicial system. Today, it's about extorting the cash and getting the convictions, full stop.

I don't know how they're able to sleep at night or live with themselves, I honestly don't. They have taken away my ability to sleep well, but I can and will regain it one day. These people have made their careers screwing people over. Behind their illusion of education and experience, they're really nothing but empty shallow beings with second rate souls. Their positions used to hold considerable significance. You can laugh away my words, you can dismiss me and call me a crank or whatever you wish. Hell, before all this, I probably would have done the same. But I have watched and listened to this hell firsthand. I've lived it. I hope and pray to God you won't have to experience it yourself before you believe me. I can show you the transcripts. I can play you the phone conversations I've had with these people. I can provide you the reports and the acquittal documents. Whatever it takes. I'm not writing this blog because I have something to gain. I'm writing it because I have nothing more to lose.

A movement has begun.
As we speak like minded individuals, good decent people all over the world are banding together to combat this scourge. This injustice. If there is any sanity in this world, one day soon the herdsmen will run with fear because their cattle have broken loose and have initiated a stampede! How soon? That depends on how many people are willing to turn off their TVs, stick their heads out of the foxhole and get their hands a little dirty.

And to those public officials and civil servants who've taken issue or offense at what I've had to say here, and demand I retract it - go fuck yourselves!
That comes straight from the heart. I don't care about your indignation. This is exactly the way you spoke to me for nearly three years! Sometimes worse! Far worse! I have nothing but distain and contempt for you two-faced bastards who supposedly represent the queen. You who can look a desperate, scared and frustrated man in the face and lie - telling him you represent his best interests, and then collect the money he's somehow managed to scrape together from family and friends before getting back to fucking him over behind his back. I'm not going to keep quiet.

Sincerely

-Tortured

Tortured. (12 of 149)

It really makes me angry that there are some who refuse to believe that there are some people who abuse their position of power to deal out their own brand of justice.

This picture of me in a beard was taken immediately after I was release after being illegally held at the Edmonton remand centre for an additional 36 days AFTER I had received 5'000.00 no cash bail!(compare the bail report to the date the hospital took photos of me on my release date , picture date Jan, 26, 2012) I had no warrants, no holds, and there was no reason for me to be held over Christmas and new years. Absolutely none other then they just could.

When you look at that picture what you don't see is the sleep deprivation I had undergone. You don't see how my toe nails were so long they actually hurt. You don't see the scar on my neck near my jugular and on my arm by the main vain where I had actually took the security caulking out of my bunk and attempted to end my misery. Obviously I failed, but the infections left nasty scars because I never received medical treatment. What you don't see from that picture is that I was down to under 200 lbs (I was about 250 lbs going in). You don't see the skin flaps I had in places from not having time to adapt to the sudden weight loss. It's also a good thing you can't smell me because I wasn't allowed a shower for months. During "special treatment", I would often be made to piss myself. It would run down the security "dolly blanket"and pool in my shoes. You also can't smell my infections and you don't see that I actually had mold growing in the footwear they gave me.
Torture? They handcuffed my hands behind my back for hours. They kicked and hit me as hard as they could without breaking bones. Torture is having someone drip hot water on your face and legs until you get blisters, and listening as they laugh about how the blisters will become scars, forever labeling me. Night after night.
Torture is being threatened to have hot oil pored over you from above, causing you to dare not go to sleep or stop moving around for days within your cell until you pass out from exhaustion. And when you awake they start all over, and saturate your cell with the smell of hot oil to make you believe they'll actually do it. Torture is being handcuffed to a chair and body belted and read fake news articles that you're a serial rapist, and listening to them list off the names of over 30 women you supposedly raped. Having to hear the details behind every fabricated rape and how the community was so relieved that you, the rape monster, was now caught and safely behind bars. Torture is hearing them repeat these things to you so many times that you start to believe you really are the monster they say you are and begin to second guess your own sanity. Night after night.
Torture is trying to hold on to reality by associating it with a clock. "What time is it now, did the second hand move....oh my god this is real?!" Torture is being told from the other side of the door that they are going to pour a bucket of water under the door and fry me with an electrical cord. Where can you go? Where can you hide? Oh fuck, nowhere?! You pray to god and you prepare to die. Except, they don't do it.....they bring you to the height of hysteria, make you come to a place where you make peace with god and then...nothing happens. Then it starts all over. The scenario is always a little different. They are no less convincing though, right up until the conclusion. And then they start a new game. Night after night.
For any of you that think this is bullshit, the only thing I can think of to say to you is "FUCK OFF!"
I haven't even told it all yet. I have the physical and emotional scars that prove it happened. They cannot explain why I was on the "special unit" nor why I was held illegally for 36 days after receiving bail. I remember it all. That's the problem. It's preventing me from being able to pick up my life where I left off nearly 3 years ago. I'm having trouble re-connecting with the man I was before all this happened. I was a toy for a bunch of sadistic sickos. Then, after a brief stint on bail, I had to go back to that same jail. The second time however, there were those to warn them off. Several guards came into my cell individually and apologized for what they heard or found out happened to me at the hands of one of their own. Some of these guards believed some of their co-workers deserved to be in jail more then most of the inmates they had. I know this happened, and I hope it never has to happen to you.
This is a few photo's of how I normally carry myself, take a look at it and you tell me the difference

-Tortured